All too often…

As published in the Metropolis newspaper:

The climate has changed over the years and so has the music. Certain hip hop music has set the tone for sexual assault and drug use. This music is putting our children at risk, especially children in single-parent homes. 

These artists know that these kids look up to them as their heroes, but while the artist’s kids are going to good private schools, another young child is given drugs. They take them because their favorite rapper told them too. And, now some predator takes advantage of that and now he or she is sexually assaulted and robbed of their childhood.

At eight years old I was groomed by my cousin to believe that her having sex with me was normal. 

My childhood was stolen from me. I was never the same after that and it went on for years with other abusers until about 18 years of age. I was too afraid to speak up because I was threatened on a regular basis. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. My parents didn’t notice the signs that something was going on with me and so I suffered in silence for so long. I was never told if someone touches you to tell no matter what. 

Child sexual abuse is an epidemic in this country and our children are having to face it on a regular basis. A lot of the time there are red flags but parents and caretakers aren’t able to see it. 

Some of the signs include talking about sexual topics with friends. Not wanting to be alone with a specific adult by shying away or acting out. Schoolwork is falling behind or spending a lot of time alone. These are just a few of the symptoms. 

The misconception is that a stranger is abusing your child however studies have shown that more than likely it’s a family member, trusted family friend, or coach. It is really no longer stranger danger. That makes it even harder for children to speak up...they just had their innocence ripped from them. They are in complete shock and confused because this shouldn’t be happening. 

They are groomed into believing that this behavior is normal. Years pass and that same child is completely different. Ninety percent will become highly sexually active, have drug abuse issues, severe depression, and or suicidality. 

The family is thinking this now teenager is just a bad seed but in fact, they are in a lot of pain and they cannot express it. A lot of people will say why didn’t they say anything? Because they were traumatized and they don’t want to hurt the person abusing them or their family. 

Statistics have shown that most survivors of child sexual abuse don’t come forward until well into their forties because of the fear of not being believed, shame, and self-hate. 

However, if we have a conversation with our kids starting at least five years of age and teach them early on about body safety and to have a voice we can change this. 

Parents are always telling me its too soon they are just babies, but pedophiles don’t give a damn about how young they are and are hoping that this child is easily manipulated and vulnerable so they can sneak in there. Then, the grooming begins. 

So, either you talk to them about it now or you run the risk of your child being abused. It’s your choice. 

I went through a lot of issues after my abuse and after much-needed therapy and psychological support, I was able to push forward. That doesn’t mean that I’m cured, it just means that I made a decision to be the best person that I could be.  

Although I have trauma in my history I deserve to live a good life and accomplish my goals. I decided to take my pain and use it to protect kids. I started a nonprofit called Patrice’s Kids Inc. Our mission is to bring awareness and educate adults on child sexual abuse. We also throw events for children in underprivileged communities and kids in the foster care system because we want them to know that they’re not forgotten. That we do love and care for them. 

Because so many parents need to be educated on this topic, I’m offering free child sexual abuse prevention training on my website at Patriceskids.com. After successfully completing the course, trainees will receive a certificate from Patrice’s Kids.

I also decided to write a book about my life and struggles in the music industry and being sexually abused as a child. I wrote it because I’m a survivor of child sexual abuse and I want to help other survivors heal. I also want parents to know what the grooming process looks like so they can protect their children. 

The title is called The Unconscious Community and will be available on September 18, 2020, on Amazon. All proceeds from the book will go to the nonprofit, Patrice’s Kids.  

It is our responsibility to protect children at all costs. 

They are our future. 

Please educate yourself and your children and be proactive.